Why are you expecting him to be rational? MLCers only think of themselves, i.e., like teenagers and don't have a clue about being polite and keeping their parents apprised of their schedules.
Was there a specific reason that you needed him at home? I can understand wanting to be apprised early on about meetings, etc., but unless he has something planned w/you...I would just wish him all the best and let it go. The more you try to rein him in and get him to tell you about the things he's doing, the more the resentment and anger are going to build and, yes, you did sound a bit like his mother. You can't control him. The only person that you can control is yourself and how you react to his comments/behavior.
Keep your expectations at zero because he's not the same person you married. That person is gone away for a long time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
