She is engaging in an EA/PA, admits it to your face, feels justified and unapologetic, has stated she hates you.
What more do you need to see before you let her go on her journey and you begin on yours?
To me this would mean to more IC. No R talk explaining why no more IC. No more communication beyond one word responses necessary for a bit here (until you can do it without explaining, arguing, defending, attacking, trying to get her to see your point of view, temp checking, and on and on and on and on and on and on. Just stop.).
She's shown you how she is going to treat you. If you don't protect yourself you are responsible for any further harm she causes you.
PS- I like your comment about the affair. To be fair to Sotto, I would say there are many reasons why a spouse might be tempted to have an affair. But in the end they only actually happen for one reason.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
