Thank you, Sandi. I will read over this several times. I want to note that at one point, you made it sound like I was very dependent on her. I don't know whether you meant to, but she was actually the very dependent, needy one, always pulling on me for stuff, which is how I was able to be the neglectful one
It is not a healthy emotional balance for either, or both, spouses when they make the other one their entire world.......as you can testify to how your W's dependence wore you down to the point of neglect. It drains the R. We need more than just one person in our world. That's not to say it will decrease your feelings for your S, but expand it.
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None of them will hardly talk to me, and now I can barely get my wife to say anything to me either. Is there any sort of time frame to this? My wife keeps gradually doing things toward breakup. Her latest thing has been to talk to me and visit me much less. I don't know whether her lawyer has advised her to do that. How long does it tend to take a heart to soften, if it's going to soften?
When a woman has another man waiting in the wings, she is likely to give her H a cold shoulder to convince him she is done with their M. The more the H tries to get her to talk to him........or anything else.......the colder she will get. In many cases when the H finally lets go, she actually becomes friendlier. There is no time frame for when she softens her heart. IMHO, the first day she realizes the H has dropped the rope, will be the first day for softening her. That doesn't mean she immediately changes her direction.......b/c other things come into play, but for her to sense you are through (which is not the same thing as neglect) and moving on without her.......has an emotional affect on her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
