Sandi2 or Starsky309..advice on Wayward Husband

[sandi2]

Well, thank you. I am happy to share some of my thoughts, however, it would help a lot if you can give some information about your MR.

With wayward wives, the bottom line is loss of respect for her H. Of course, there are other issues involved, but her H needs to get her respect before he can expect much success in having a good M. Her loving feelings are tied to her respect.

I am certainly no authority on men, so take this for what it's worth. I think his loving feelings are tied to these "A-Words" words........Appreciation, Admiration, Acceptance, and Attitude. When a W tries to change him, complain or fuss at him, has a bad attitude and shows disrespect......his loving feelings begin to fade. We women know the male ego is fragile. We puff them up before M, and then deflate them after the wedding vows. Men need to feel those these four things (at least), from the women who love them.

If a woman has a WH, she has the ability to draw him back to her. However, it won't come through nagging, pleading, clinging, crying, tantrums, and all those type of negative behaviors. She needs to be more like the woman she was (or better) when he fell in love with her the first time. Sure, life can change us from the way we use to be.....but we can do our best to work with what we have and either improve or reinvent.

Let's say her H has been a fairly nice guy, who has not treated her badly during the MR, but now he is wayward. If the H is in an affair, he needs to see his W moving forward and to realize he could lose her forever. Although common sense tells us he should already "know it", waywards seem to lose their common sense....and have to see the action of their spouse. He needs to see positive changes in her and the atmosphere in his home. He needs to feel "free" of her grip. I'm not talking about his responsibilities, but her emotional rope tightening around him. She has to let go of trying to control him.

I could go on & on with this, but I think it would save time if you'll tell us what is going on with your H. Give us a view of the dynamics in your relationship with your H. Please tell us if he is an addict, has a bad temper, depressed, or abusive in any way. Just as wayward wives can display all kinds of terrible treatment.....so can the WH.