MLC? Maybe you can tell me...

[Bird]

kml - Thank you for your thoughtful response to my trainwreck situation. I really appreciate what you have to say.

1)No need to worry about STD's...there would have to be some physical intimacy for that to be happening and H would barely sit next to me on the couch, much less touch me. I don't get why they lie about it though. I expect that he is involved with her, but I don't even know if it matters in the end. I know that his fantasy with her won't last, mostly because I know OW. She will start (pardon my French) whoring up to whatever man she works with at her new company. She moves around every 3 years and that is her MO. She's the weed.

2) Definitely, I'm finding it easier to accept this most of the time.

3) I can definitely see where some things fell short in our marriage, but nothing that I would consider a deal-breaker. I would have liked more flowers. Ha. But seriously, we've been together since the age of 22 and he's always been a stand up guy. My family and more importantly my parents all adored him. Friends and colleagues respected him. When D12 was born, he had the nurse show him how to swaddle and change diapers while I was sleeping. He was up all night with D10 when she was colicky so that I could rest. He has always been a good provider and has lovingly taken care of his family. Up until OW, I can't think of anything he ever did that would blemish his character. Both of our families are rocked by his behavior because it's entirely out of the blue for him. Perhaps it's been brewing for a while.

4) As an introvert, I'm struggling with this but I'm making a real effort to get out there and do my thing. When I'm out with people I usually do enjoy myself, I just don't like doing it too much or my batteries get depleted. I kind of enjoy the "me" time when he has the girls, but I really only need one evening of that and then I want them back.

5)In my state, the SA is designed to flow right into the divorce decree if one of us files. Otherwise we can let it conver into divorce after 1 year. So yes, it will hold up right through the end. I can actually file anytime once the SA is in place, indicating the marriage has been irretrievably broken for 6 months, but as the custody and financials will be locked in, there's no need to rush it. However, his lawyer is still dragging his feet on the agreement, I guess to get some billable hours in. Time will tell if it will be smooth or if I'm in for a fight. I'm a better fighter than a victim anyhow.

6 & 7) THANK YOU. I will continue to do me. Right now I'm focusing my energy on packing our home, staging it to sell quickly and find something that is just right for my girls and I. I feel like once we move and the SA is in place, I can get out of limbo for a little while and start my next chapter.