First time post feeling lost and confused

[dodog]

Thank you for all your kind words. I am planning on moving back in a couple of weeks. Next week in in Asia for business. I have been in no contact for 2 days and she sent me a message earlier asking if I was going to see the children Friday (fly Saturday) I said no and I get well that's nice you obviously don't miss the children then. Didn't reply but wanted to. Me not seeing the children for 12 days is nothing compared to what your actions are going to do to them. I just need to try and detach from her. I getting g better at it and I want to be able to move back where I can be a 100% committed dad. But at the moment it is too difficult to be around her. I also feel that she wants me back Friday so she can go out. I'm not an oncall babysitter. I love my kids and I miss them dearly but 12 days isn't going to damage them. I will be returning home the following week as she is away skiing with a gf and then in a business trip. That's when I will be moving back full time under the same roof as her. I don't trust her as far as I can kick her so I will not be allowing her anytime alone on our home to do whatever she likes. The house needs to be de cluueees and stuff ready for it to go on the market. I wanted to try and see if we could work this out but it's only bricks and Mortor and we can always pull out if things turn around. But to be honest afbyhe moment she isn't giving me much reason to think we can. I don't even know if I want to I am making a list reason to stay reasons not too and at the leone time the stay list is rather light. So looking forward to getting this trip started 6 days of no stresses and no reason to see her or talk to her.