Thread #2 - Separating

[KevinIn]

Every Wednesday morning for the past month, the Wife comes to the house to pick up the kids to take to school. I try to keep the conversation to a minimum and about the kids or logistics. Today was no different.

However, I needed to figure out a logistical problem with where i was staying tonight and I also wanted to "test the water" just a little to see if Sunday's positive conversation had any actual impact.

Since I need to be by our house very early tomorrow morning, I asked if I could just stay at the house with her tonight, and i'd be in the guest bedroom. She said "no. I don't want to confuse the kids."

This response hurt. It reinforced that she is not even considering trying to fix things. her heels are dug in. She is forcing the full separation and there is not even a chance of her reconsidering it at this moment.

I then said i can come home after the kids are asleep, and she gave me a look that implied - no. I then said i'd get back to her later in the day with what i'm going to do. We then got the kids and all left the house.

I feel that my response is a Divorce Busting opportunity for a 180. But, i need to execute it properly.

What she probably expects me to say: "I'd really like to stay at home tonight to make it easy on myself tomorrow morning."

A possible 180 response: Something about agreeing that it would be bad to confuse the kids, so i'll stay away and make it work.

Rationale: One of her complaints in our relationship was that I didn't value her thoughts - it was 'my way is the only way.' So, i'm trying to show that i do value her thoughts, which does take her by surprise. But, i also don't want to be a doormat that does whatever she says. Therefore, my response needs to be deeper than just "okay, whatever you say." By agreeing with her reasoning for me not being there, i will possibly surprise her.


What are everyone's thoughts? Let me know if you can think of a good 180 in this conversation.