The high road: rocky with a great view

[ciluzen]

So, quick catch up for the day...I got into my MFT program! I start in June.

Also, tomorrow is my birthday and although I've spoken to my girls, I've not heard a thing about that. I am celebrating after work with a bunch of people - I took things into my own hands since it is the big 5-0, but nothing from my girls. Not sure what to think about that. If I've learned anything lately, its "no expectations", LOL! Plus, its "restaurant week" here, so I've been out to dinner, lunch, or brunch with a different friend almost every day since Thursday. Nothing tonight but salad and jumping on my trampoline (a mini to keep my legs ready for skiing).

On the H front, haven't seen him for awhile. I have spoken to him three times today, though. We're still trying to get part of his IRA transferred to me as per D agreement, but our brokerage is having trouble. They have all the info and paperwork, but well...it will happen. They have all of the notes and records of both of us calling, so I know its all them. Its infuriating. Funny, H keeps telling me of his convos and still refers to me as his "wife". He has yet to catch that mistake. I make sure I say XH when talking, but he still hasn't changed it up. Its wierd talking to him, though. Its as if nothing has happened to change the R...except we never see each other or talk unless we are dealing with something, and have nothing to do with each other.

I took down my paintings from my March venue, and the owner asked if I would do it again in January. So, I have a future booking! My printer also asked me to join an artists group, so now I have two groups to show with, studio and show space, and some helpful resources and mentors for the business questions I have. And I have artist peers! Kind of exciting, really.

So, now I get to concentrate on painting more pictures and finding a house until June when school starts. I'm also going to coach Special Olymics soccer again this spring. Life seems to be coming together now that I've been learning to just relax a little and open myself up to the possibilities. I can say that much of the time I feel genuine happiness. I still, however, miss H. Can't lie about missing our talks and physical touch. But my talks with him each time make me realize, he's not who he once was. I hope some day he gets happy with himself. I will try to keep moving forward, but I am still trying to be the lighthouse. Not sure how long I can do it, though. Not sure of anything at all, except that anything is possible and anything can happen. Life can change in an instant, the world can turn upside down, or our paths can fork suddenly; as all of us here know all too well.