I sound like the perfect description of the next Mrs Shotgun. Hahaha.

Life is good for me, busy with work and kids. I have more ups then down but at times it is a bit of a struggle to keep my head above water. My kids are having more and more regular contact with OW and they seem to like her. It hurts they like her but on the other hand (180 for me) she is being good with them, so I guess the positive is that she might be a good stepmother to my kids (at least better than I was with my SD!).

Other than that just reporting, first meeting with ex since I filed. We were out for the kids' parents/ teachers meeting. Ex didn't acknowledge me, so I just said hello and ask how he was. I didn't get an answer but wasn't expecting one. I just wanted to show my girls that even if I hardly have any contact with their dad, when I do I behave cordially and politely. I nearly burst out laughing because as soon as we saw our kids' teachers ex moved his chair far away as possible from me. Was he expecting me to jump on him? Or was it that he was uncomfortable as I really looked nice ( nice make up,perfume and a lovely dress). The funny thing is that I wasn't expecting him to turn up so I'd dressed up normally.

Once more no eye contact with ex but I did notice that he looked older and he didn't appear that happy. I guess he could have had a bad day at work. The only thing I can honestly tell you is that if ex was to come back I'd not take him back. I can't explain why but it's coming from my gut feelings. I guess there has been too much hurt for me to turn a blind eye (which I wouldn't anyway).

In 20 days it will be my two years separation date, not feeling to
sad about it (I guess there will be an odd feeling somehow), but my life has never been this good. I'm nearly there with my fight against depression. I'm more positive and feel better about my physical appearance. Most of all I have started to love myself, and this is the best gain out of this situation. Shame that ex isn't part of it but if he didn't do what he did I'd have never ever done the work I'm doing now. I'm not saying that I condone what he did but if it hadn't happened I'd have not work on myself to be a better me.