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I sometimes felt ridiculous trying to comfort her about her lost "love".


You did what??? Please don't tell us you were trying to soothe her about losing her affair partner. If anything, that's a direct pass to the friend zone.

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My friends say they would have thrown her out the day WW told me about the A. If you would have asked me what I would do in such a situation a year ago I would have agreed. But that wasn't my reaction at all. In fact, I have rarely been angry during this ordeal. I've just been sad. I even felt sorry for WW when the counselor told me WW started having feeling for the guy in September but didn't know who to talk to about it so she kept it to herself. I can imagine her wrestling with those feelings and being alone.


None of us want to believe that our SOs would leave, much less get involved with someone else. Therefore, we choose to be blind to things and not see them for what they really are.

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The whole situation changed from whether I could live with the past A to whether WW even wanted to stay with me. I am still sometimes stunned this is happening.


The first thing you should do is a reality check - can you fully trust her again? If she is late coming back from the store, what will you think? If you are less than 100% positive that you can and won't have those thoughts, then you may need to take another look.


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.