I'm torn on your two camps of thought. Honestly, I tried your first camp with my ex. I did the things you suggest - the touching, joking, etc. Didn't work. And by the time I figured it out, it was too late. However, if you've read any of my story, the DB techniques failed miserably and caused her to run. Sigh.
Honestly, you know your husband best. Some will say go turkey, some won't. I'm on the fence. If he was/is in an affair, the cold turkey is your only option...if he isn't, then I'd do parts of number one. The thing to remember is that he doesn't want to be married anymore, and therefore if you do too much of the love/touch, it will push him away. It's a fine line you must walk. We will be here to guide you, but its your road.
Speaking of roads, just remember he is on his own road now...and unfortunately it doesn't have room for you. You must travel your own road. Sure you can leave room for him if he so chooses to travel it, but just know its his choice. No one else's.
Quote:
I have been texting him first thing in am with a good morning msg and kindness. That's all I'm reaching out to him..
It may be a better idea to stop this. I did the same thing.
Keep on keeping on. Your ideas are great and it seems like you are light years ahead of where I was.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
