For her to say that you didn't want her to think much of herself screams controlling - why would she say that? You were mean about her appearance - did you talk down on her or call her names? If so, then that suggests a whole different ballgame.
I wasn't controlling at all. I was the submissive spouse. I would complain about things and argue with her, though, but rarely did I tell her "no". I also rarely asked her for anything. I used to tell her every now and then that it must be nice not having a spouse hounding you for stuff. I was telling you what my wife said. You kind of jumped to believe her. She said I didn't want her to think much of herself, referring to me complaining to her when she would compliment herself. I would also complain when I would compliment her, and she would respond with a "mmhmm", like saying "I know". I didn't talk down to her about her appearance or call her names. Our relationship was way better than that. I made the mistake of honestly answering questions about how she looked. Though I did try to be very sweet about it. I should have just not been honest at all, unless it was a good thing I was telling her.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
