Wouldn't have happened if things were solid. We - along with others - have had this discussion before in your previous thread. Nice cards? I can show you some very, very nice cards given to me less than a month before BD whilst she was in the midst of her affair. But we won't rehash all of that again. The thing is, the seeds of doubt were there long before, and are exemplified in her having those thoughts over the years. Happy/committed people don't have those thoughts.
Not trying to bust your chops, my friend. It is what it is. The important thing is for you to stop trying to figure out the whys and what-fors, and concentrate on yourself...and yourself only. Regardless of when the trigger was pulled, the round was loaded long before that.
Let's rehash it. My WW wrote me a lovely valentine's card saying what a sexy man I was. While she is currently having an EA that she refuses to give up and sleeps in a different room. And I continue to enable because I stubbornly refuse to believe in my heart what my head tells me is true, and what others on this forum are virtually screaming at me to do.
As Jeep says, the focus must be on yourself. The more I examine myself, the more it scares me how much there is to work on. The key is not to get crippled into paralysis by the sheer amount of work to do and the emotional rollercoaster. Eat that elephant one bite sized chunk at a time.
-- Me: 47 WW: 35 SS: 17 D: 5 T: 7 yrs Engaged: 2 yrs OEA confirmed: August 17 2016 ongoing since April 2016. OEA continues (with occasional breaks) BD2 - W says will visit OM in Jan 18
