I'd really like your take on what the difference is in leaving me but not our son. Here is mine: He not only left me, he also left my son. It is incredible to me that someone who leaves the family unit tells themselves that they are leaving the spouse and not the child(ren). Yes, by the very fact that my H is no longer here when our son gets home from school, homework, dinner, goes to bed routine and then gets up for school routine. My H has left our son as well. My H has only attended our son's "fun" activities since he moved out - he'll attend basketball games and karate lessons. We have agreed on every other weekend, our son sleeps over at H's apt. That is down from every night of the week when my H and my son's daddy was here and available - to now 4 nights a month they spend together! So, yes, my H has left both me and our son. My son now has a part-time daddy in time and availability. That is no joke - so anyone who wants to kid themselves otherwise, needs to get real in the eyes of the child.
I get what you are saying, mine did the same thing. But you have to take it out of the context of the family unit. If his love and involvement with his son is evident, then what he left was you, not his son. I apologize if it was misunderstood...the thing is, even though he (for now) no longer wants to be married doesn't mean his love for his son is any less.
I know how you feel. I struggle with this crap every day...my ex told me this was the most selfish thing she had ever done, and she's correct. She destroyed two families with her affair...and she destroyed the best part of me, too. I'm not sure I'll ever get past the things I've seen/heard/read. But, I digress, even though she is a total failure of a wife and family unit, she still does love the kids and I will give that to her. She left, yes. She left not only me, but the family unit. However, she didn't abandon the kids. That's the difference - as much as I don't like it, that is the other side of the coin.
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I am such a tremendous stand for marriage and working together as a couple, through good and bad - (unless abuse is involved). I'm going to post my story in a separate thread and hopefully, you'll see it and post a respond to that, too.
I agree 100%. I don't believe in divorce at all - unless abuse, etc. In my case, my ex not only had an affair but made some very poor choices. My story is elsewhere if you can find it.
I'll be glad to weigh in - I find that posting in other threads to be tremendously helpful to me - although I'm not sure how good my help will be.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
