Thank you, Vanilla. You have no need to apologise, you do a lot of paying back for people on these forums.
Much to think about and research. I have started reading the abuse thread(s). Point taken about privacy and snooping. My W has been clear on this and her boundaries. I just need to be firmer on mine. I will start making more notes of what happens.
-- Me: 47 WW: 35 SS: 17 D: 5 T: 7 yrs Engaged: 2 yrs OEA confirmed: August 17 2016 ongoing since April 2016. OEA continues (with occasional breaks) BD2 - W says will visit OM in Jan 18