It seems to be getting harder, not better. WH received 2 more loan checks in the mail today. This makes 5 in the past month. I have no idea how much money he's borrowed. I do know he hasn't paid any of the bills and his gf, who doesn't have a job, suddenly seems to have an awful lot of cash to spend.
I hired an attorney last week and told WH I was not going to do mediation. That night and most of the next day all I heard either verbally or through text was how horrible a person I was (summarizing it nicely) or all the different ways he planned to hurt me financially, again putting it nicely. This included leaving our house and withholding any money to support our family. Then a switch flipped and he was oh so sweet... my best friend.
I told him today about the attorney and that he'd be served this week. I never wanted to be the one to file, but because of these loans he's taking and his threat to not give us any money I had to protect myself.
He texted me about D's birthday later this week, mind you he's just down the hall. Can he come to her party with my family? Can her gift be from both of us? This lead to a discussion about our children. I know you don't put things in writing, but nothing that was said by either of us could harm the other. But it's left me feeling broken. How do you look at these kids and think another person is worth THEM? How do you get up every morning and feel OK about missing any second of their lives? Why is it OK that you get to move on with your life and because you think the grass is greener, I will now have to miss time with them. Time that is precious to me. Why do you get to sit there happily talking to your gf while I sit in another room crying for my children? It's not fair.
I know we're all in the same boat. I just needed to vent because nobody else seems to get it. I'm so tired of hearing he'll regret it one day. Honestly, I know he will. But what does it matter when he's destroyed my family?
M:41 H:43 T:26yrs M:19 yrs S:15 D1:14 D2:9 Living together but separated
