Newbie Thread 6

[hawker]

Hey guys...

Bsb...I am doing good considering..I had a good cry the day I got the papers and it hasn't been that bad really after...I keep trying to stay busy!! That is the best thing for me and being around my friends, they take my mind off of it. Maybe it will help me to move forward...I know I did all I could to save my M, I can't change her thinking so I have to accept it and do my thing. I will be ok.

Yes, I miss some things but I also have been enjoying "me" time. Sometimes I wonder what I miss exactly...a good friend told me that she learned in IC that other people can fill the void for now to help get you through. I missed going to dinner, movies with my W but I go now with friends, etc.

I am not to the point of moving on to dating, I really have no interest AT ALL....hopefully in time. :-)

KevinIN...Well, it has been a year since I found out about My W was having a EA...we lived in the same house for 6 months but basically "acted" like we still were M except she slept in the spare room. I didn't know about DB until late in my sitch...so those 6 months she was trying to "decide" what she wanted.

She moved out in May still supposedly not knowing what she wanted and then the PA started in July...from there she moved in with AP in Aug...so that is that....

There were a few times I thought she was coming out of it late in the sitch...like in Oct. she said how much she missed me, our friends, our dogs, etc. She asked me "how did all of this happen?" I didn't answer because she needs to figure that out herself. I thought maybe she would realize running away and having an A wasn't the answer...well a week later she said she was filing...so I was wrong....

I don't see any other time really? She acts like she cares sometimes but I just think she is trying to ease her guilt. She is just like all of this is no big deal so maybe she doesn't care at all...IDK....I mean I received the final divorce papers last Sat and on Tues she tried texting me that she saw an article in the paper about a dog virus going around the city......disconnected to reality....maybe she just wanted me to tell her I got the papers....who really knows....

Sorry not much help in that area.....I wish there would be more stories on here of people that came back to reality to see what they were thinking during this time....even if they didn't R with their spouses I just would like to hear what they were thinking....