Apologies I have been absent and triggered so finding posting in Newcombers a ltitle tough.
There are a couple of things you may want to review. I am practical rather than definitive.
1. Abuse is abuse. It has to stop, it is always wrong. Children shouldn't be in the middle of it. I have assumed that you have reviewed the Abuse thread. It's there as a resource. I will post the link.
2. There is a wonderful writer called Al Turtle who has an essay on Boundaries, it's about forts and soldiers etc. I love the way he writes as it's primarily for teenagers (at least that essay) and for the first time I got it. It is free and easily Googled.
3. You are in the UK, the courts take a very dim view of mothers and fathers who have substance problems. These can affect custody and the one with the physical custody has the greatest sway. There is an excellent ebook by Marilyn Stowe the lawyer available for free or 99p. I have used her site often.
As you are aware in the UK only if there is a police involvement is verbal abuse an issue in D fins, as the criminal is separate from the family court. This can start the non mol train which shows up even if dismissed, take this very seriously indeed. It can mean your contact with your kids is prescribed and you can lose access to your home. So not even a broken finger nail ok?
The tendency is for a spouse to be involving the police thinking it will help fins, it doesn't although it can affect the custody arrangements which affects fins indirectly.
Know where her stash is, if police involvement happens to you (false accusations), then you can say "I believe WW may be under the influence and her stash is in the garden wall behind the third brick". Otherwise always keep cool and never react. Take the blows and however much you would like to, don't restrain or resist. Record if you can, whilst doing so say stop, please stop. And don't smoke with her, if you are ever arrested, ask to have a urine or blood test and hair sample to prove you don't smoke dope. You may wish to have an L on record with these accusations. If you are in Surrey then SurreyDA are excellent especially on the new UK laws post October 2015 on coercive abuse. They run support groups and it isn't only women who suffer from verbal abuse. Other areas have help too so some research needed.
4. In the UK spouses have the right to privacy. As long as we are members of the EU, the EU human rights act applies. I will examine the decided case and post back to you. In some instances breaching this is a criminal rather than a civil offence. The rules are complex but as your WW has said you breached her privacy then you have been warned. It's serious don't do it. Those are my views.
So how you keep your diary notes is important. Seeing and keeping your spouses text messages, emails etc is very frowned on by UK divorce courts. Although you can keep notes about it. So for instance keeping a copy of your wife's will is not good, you may keep notes for instance WW told me she left everything in her will to the children etc. Or WW opened a savings account with ABC bank and set up a DD for xx.
