my wife can't decide (II)

[Vanilla]

Do not leave your marital home, deploying is not leaving or abandoning. Make it clear the MBR is your territory.

And leaving the house is not logical especially if your are in forces accommodation. It's a fallacy that men should leave their home, however men do have to be careful they are not side swiped. Accused of awful things because their spouse choose to trigger them. If anything untoward happens record it. This happens to women too of course. Just walk away and never react, keep your hands visible in an argument. And record have a recorder app on your phone always.

If there are ups and downs then it's reactive stuff not personality driven.

Being depressed is not being bipolar. Bipolar is a physiological illness not a mental one. It is not a personality disorder.
Even if you had bipolar, as long as you are stable and medicated then it's merely an illness and if dreadful you are still on active duty so there is a presumption it's ok. Its nonsense talk.

One in four men and one in three women will have depression at some time in their lives. You are in good company, here is a T shirt, join the club it's a big one.

Oh and join the almost one in two workers who have been dismissed or made redundant.

I think W is under the impression that she is entitled, nooooooooooo the world is a different place now. Both spouses are allowed their lives. The day is gone where the dependent spouse (and sometimes that is the male in a traditional M) is free loading for all their lives. As many SATP here report life after D is tough. She will have to work at some point. On the other hand the dependent spouses contribution to an M is equal to the main bread winner contribution. Not lesser. Children in my book come first.

So your W is a WW. Sending nudie pics is part of waywardness. Brazen even and open about it. Collect your evidence especially if your state is a 'fault' state. Judges don't like that type of behaviour, including FB or insta pictures of drinking and wild behaviour. One instance isn't enough although a pattern is.

Yes, GAL, activities with your kids are really GAL. Have a diary and in it each day write about your kids and what you have done with them.

Write like a reporter, unemotional and factual.

For instance WW and I discussed D in a conversation at 6 pm and she said "should I get the police to take you away". I said "no of course not"

Or

Today my daughters requested that I gonly with them....... I spent the day with my daughters going to xyz mall and we had pizza at.....

If needs be staple the receipt to the diary page. Use a bound diary and cross out any blank spaces or days you don't notate.

Or

Today my WW told me I was typical bipolar. As she isn't a diagnostic doctor I responded "in your opinion only, my opinion is different"

Remember when they talk about these things they are likely projecting. It's themselves they are discussing. So she says you are dumb? Projection. She says she is noble smart and intellectual?
That's a description of you. So when she says these things the response is "yout are describing yourself aren't you" response the dumb and on the other "well that's an interesting view of you"

I look forward to reading about boundaries for you. There isn't much you can do about OM although you can diarise the pattern and history.

V