Same Sitch. New Approach. Motivated. Feeling Good.

[Chris73]

Man, it's hard today. Feeling the pressure and the fatigue of all the hard work I've been putting in. Not discouraged in the least, just tired.

Last night I took my dad with me to the blues jam in town. On the way there he pressed me for information on the state of my marriage. This was prompted by the fact that my W is going on a trip to FL next week with her girlfriends. He wanted to know why I wasn't going. I told him that work wouldn't let me take the time off because of a project that we're really busy with this week. This isn't a lie, really I wouldn't have been able to go. But I left out the fact that I wasn't invited. I'm not a fan of dishonesty, but nothing good could come out of him knowing that my marriage is in trouble. The added stress isn't helpful though.

Tomorrow is my W's birthday. I left it up to her to make the decision about how much (or how little) she wanted to celebrate it. She opted to spend it at home with me and the kids and a few extended family members. I volunteered to cook and despite our less-than-ideal marriage situation I'm looking forward to it.

We've been getting along well and there's no doubt that she's paying very close attention to the "new me". Frankly, I don't know how you couldn't. The new me is so different from the old me. But it's only been 30 days since he's made his first appearance, so I have no expectations that she will outwardly react to my changes.

Need to return to my affirmations today...