It seems as if the A is actually over. W has been posting some heartache type quotes on Pinterest. In talking with OM's W, he is trying to act as if nothing happened and wants to move back home. They're trying to reconcile. I really do not understand how my W didn't see how big of a piece of garbage this guy was and how he was just using her. The affair was another addiction to him, an adrenaline rush from all the lies and secrecy. Then when his W found out, he broke it off because the fun was over.
I did text my W last Friday and asked if she wanted to talk. She said, "About what?". I replied, "About anything". She then said it wasn't a good time because a family member was very sick. Not sure if she actually is wanting to talk or not.
Several hours later on Friday she texted me randomly "So you're an alcoholic now?" I didn't know how to respond to that. OM had previously told his W that my W told him I was a physically abusive alcoholic. I just replied "What?" and she said "That's what OM's W told me". I texted OM's W about it and she said she was referring to a text she had sent my W. She had said if I'm "an alcoholic, why did you leave him for another addict?" So my takeaway there is my W must assume I told OM's W that I'm an alcoholic, for whatever reason. So either it was OM lying to his W about me or my W doesn't even remember her own lies.
I again told her that if she wanted to talk she could come by the house. She told me she needed to be close to the sick family member. I told her I hope they get better and to let me know when she wants to talk. She said "well they're not". I just said I was sorry.
She was posting aggressive stuff on Pinterest last night. "If I cut you out of my life, chances are you gave me the knife" and "People treat you horribly and get mad when you do the same to them". Probably referring to me, but I suppose could be about OM at this point. I know, I shouldn't be looking, but it's the only insight I have into her thinking at this point.
I still want the closure of a conversation. My IC agrees it will be good for me. But I think my W sees me as a closed chapter in her life and the A was a separate "loved and lost" event. Still blind that she was just preyed on and used by an addict. I don't necessarily expect an apology of any sort. She'll probably be agitated and aggressive like all of our conversations since she returned from seeing him on her work trip in December where I think the PA started. At the very least I want to say my part and apologize for my shortcomings in giving her attention, affection and emotional support since that's what left the M vulnerable. I owe her that much and that alone will give me some degree of closure.
