Thank you so much for dropping by and for giving me a lift up. I can't tell you what your words have meant to me and how many times I've read them since that wretched day.
I am holding my head higher. It comes in waves. I've given myself this weekend to allow whatever and committed to being gentle with myself. Surprisingly I didn't spend it all weeping on the couch.
I'm beginning to day dream a little about not having to talk at all to stbx except of course for the business of parenting. I'll see him Tuesday morning at D9's first orthodontist consult. It's funny. I find myself annoyed at his involvement in little appointments like this. Who has both parents attend an orthodontist consult appointment? I guess that's where my daughter is lucky. STBX is bending over backwards to be an equal parent and I can't really complain about that. I do feel like I am being required to "teach" him how these things work. He seems to think she's walking in on Tuesday and if they decide she's getting braces then she gets braces right then and there. I had to explain how all of this works and then wondered if that was really my job. He can do his own research but then am I being a b*tch? Oh who cares. Whatever.
Spring is coming and that brings me hope. Hope that I won't be in this hole forever. It's deep and dark down here. I know things are better on the outside. Now, to figure out how to get out of here.
Juju, the special needs child brings so much joy and yes, so much chaos. It's nice to know that others know what I'm facing in that department. It's unlike anything I ever understood before and SO difficult to convey the intensity and exhaustion to those who have no experience. Thanks for sharing that with me.
Previously known as ss06 Kid: D9 M: 12 yrs together 18 D final: pending
"These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb." - Najwa Zebian
