Newbie, need help with WAW!

[180Man]

Are you saying since she reads you so well, you might as well blabber about your feelings?

Well, not quite. I just worry the temptation will be too easy for me to want to be open with her and express all of my thoughts and feelings. I've always had the feeling that being open and honest in our relationship with how we're feeling is the best path, so I worry I would revert back to that.

You are not a puppet who has no control over his own body. Can you not keep your mouth closed and not break down in tears in front of her?

I won't break down in tears, but opening my mouth is what I'm worried about.

If you just have to give her that little meeting she wants, then you call the place and time. I suggest somewhere public.....to help control bad behavior from her and help keep your emotions in check.

Yep, already done. She wanted to meet this past Wednesday at a coffee shop and time which she had picked. Told her I was busy, gave her a date a week later. She was busy at that proposed time/date due to a work trip. She said when she would be back, so I emailed back and proposed a new time and date at a totally different coffee shop, to which she agreed.

Then just listen. That's all you have to do. You can validate by saying, "I hear what you are saying", or just nod your head. You don't have to kiss her rear. You don't try, again, to change her mind. If things start to get out of hand, then immediately inform her the meeting is over, and quickly exit. Can you not do that?

Remember, you do not have to agree to anything. You are there to hear what she has to say. If she tries to talk you into signing something, or whatever, tell her you agreed to hear her out and that's all. Anything else you will have to think about it.

You are the 180 Man, so do a 180 and don't be an open book with her. Let her wonder what you are thinking/feeling.

Yes, I think I can do this. I just thought your posts on how to treat a WW conflicted with the validation approach. She is not quite a WW in the sense that the A has been over since Nov and she has been renting a room from a single mom (I kicked her out when I first learned what happened...tried to get her to move home as we worked through counseling but she said it didn't feel like the right time yet...and that time never came because she asked for a D 5 weeks ago). But anyways, it was confusing for me to see how to approach her and visualize how the conversation might go. I know I'm probably over thinking this, but I want to go prepared and ready to handle it.