So Confused and Conflicted (3)

[WshIKnw]

It is abundantly clear that you are terrified of losing your W. It is also abundantly clear that her actions speak volumes. Her actions say that you have already lost her.

When you say that I've lost her, are you saying you don't think she's ever going to come back?

I also realize that you are emotionally fragile. You've shared some of your personal challenges and that's why I think Vanilla's post is important. She asked you a couple of questions that I hope you answer.

To answer her questions, I have not gone to see a doctor or to therapy. I discussed with my stepmom, tonight, seeing a therapist that she knows.

There are patterns in your threads. We have tried to hammer home the need for you to work on yourself first. What I take away is that you refuse to listen to our advice, which leads me to believe that you wouldn't listen to your W. Listening is required for any relationship to work. Granted, now I'd be very cautious in listening to her.

That being said, you are having difficulty getting out of your own way. You need to stop the rinse, repeat cycle.

You are very correct. I did not listen to her. *sigh* I did not take her complaints and requests seriously. She always seemed happy to me. It's hard for me to feel very motivated to make someone happier who already seems happy to me. She likes to "fake it until she makes it" and I found it confusing as hell. Combine that with giving no second chances and you have a f***ing recipe for disaster. It makes me so mad. It's so unfair.

I'm becoming less and less hopeful and more and more depressed. So, it's becoming harder and harder to work on me.

Honestly, it is a concern to your fragile state. I hope that you seek the help and support that you need from more than this board.

Getting out of this d4mn house, where everything is a reminder of my wife, helps a lot. I've been seeing my dad and step mom a lot. It helps a ton to get out and be around people. I'm so mad that my wife would do this to me. I wasn't that bad to her. I just treated her like I wanted to be treated, like a man wants to be treated, rather than how she needed to be treated, because I'm just inexperienced. I didn't cheat on her, do drugs, get in trouble, lose my job, make her wonder where I am, gamble or waste money, etc., etc. Women give up so easily, and can't even give any warnings or anything. No ultimatums. No second chances. Just gone.