I'm OK. This is the last weekend for us together as a family. Made a pancake-eggs-sausage-fruit breakfast for the kids this morning. Then, I felt a little guilty but took about half a day to go do an outdoor sport w/ one of my buddies. Felt good. Came home, made dinner, played with my kids, played a little music, got the younger one ready for bed, then sat w/ him while he fell asleep. Not sure exactly what my STBXW did with her day. Didn't ask. She isn't giddy about her husband-free future, but she doesn't seem to be marking this weekend as the last weekend together either.
My STBXW may be simply my XW. The paperwork is on the judge's desk. He/she may have signed it. When I think about this, I just want to stop existing. My Dad, near his death, after a long struggle with an illness, loopy on an opiate, said he just wants to be run over by a truck. I'm reminded of that.
My only recourse to depression is to just focus on the practicalities. I prepare and plan my move into the new house. I work. There was a time when my mind kept drifting back to the loss of my wife, the breakup of the family. But I'm finding myself more successful at just pushing those thoughts away.
My younger one wanted donuts in the morning. I decided to make them for him instead of buying them. The dough is rising right now. I'm indulging him. It will be hard for him when I move out this week, and the family breaks in half.
He deserves better. But I see now that our combined fate was sealed long ago.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
FG, I'm waiting on freshly made donuts right now while W and D sleep too. Enjoy today with the kids. Don't think of this as an ending but as a fresh start to make an awesome new home with your kids. I know your plans, character, and future will be and are solid brother.
Hang in there brother. You and the kids will be good, regardless of how today ends.
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
I see something quite extraordinary. I read about a dad who has great delight and pleasure with his children. Who has his priorities bang on.
A man who can relate and love, I see strength.
I see fabulous adventures to come, things which are different and shared with your children.
I see a new beginning not an ending. The latest chapter of the book opening.
Really I do
V
This x 1000. You are a man of strength and character FG, as V said. No doubt about it. When the time comes, if I can do half as well as you, I will be proud.
-- Me: 47 WW: 35 SS: 17 D: 5 T: 7 yrs Engaged: 2 yrs OEA confirmed: August 17 2016 ongoing since April 2016. OEA continues (with occasional breaks) BD2 - W says will visit OM in Jan 18
You are an inspiration. I understand the feelings of wanting something to end the pain but you have shown me how to be stronger than those feelings. Thank you.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
How I wish I had a dad like you. My parents divorced when I was 2 and I did the EOWekend and every other holiday thing. That meant not a lot of memories when he died. (I was 10) If my father had cooked even one breakfast like that and spent time with me it would have engraved in my memory forever. You are an amazing man and father. Your wife is an idiot. (sorry, not very PMA of me but she is an idiot not to fight for you)
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
Now for what I hope is some good news: I've been reading a ton about single dad/co-parenting stuff lately, and all of the data seem to suggest that what kids really, really need in these sitches is one parent who's all in, doing things the right way. Being kind, loving, patient, not bad mouthing the other spouse (this is big, even if it is deserved), but not being a parent who spoils or a pushover, meting out discipline when needed in a calm, fair, consistent way, etc. If they get that, what the data are showing is that they have no greater chance of having a bad result than a child who grows up in a happy, two-spouse, one home environment. And this is even if the other spouse ends up being a disaster of a post-divorce parent.
Did ya read any books, etc. on single dad/coparenting you'd recommend? I need to start prepping for that.
M:39 W:36 - D1:2 D2:6 11/19/16 BD1: ILYBNILWY, EA/PA Dec/Jan: MC, pursuing, not DBing 1/11/17 BD2: W wants 1 month break 2/1/17: Divorce Remedy. Start DBing 2/17/17 BD3: W - separation to start D process
Just be the best you can. No book can teach you that.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
