This used to be easier - and a lot more fun, cont.

[Zues126]

Painter, you bring up a good point in that some of the most important things are about how reflective the other person is, how they treat others, what type of values they subscribe to. It was a good post and while it may seem like my post may debate yours, I actually am trying to accompany it and work with it.

For me, Don's accomplishments are important as well. They tell of a man that has remarkable drive, that feels it is important to live each day to the fullest, and who feels that means overcoming fear and adversity and complacency and instead striving to manifest his gifts and shine brightly.

I admire these qualities. I personally feel they have been diminished by our society. Money doesn't buy happiness. Beauty is only skin deep. We are all inherently valuable regardless of whether we hit a home run or strike out. Better to be low earning and earnest than a high earning grinch.

True, true, all true. But what the saturation of these mantras has lead to is the dismissal of the importance of the qualities that Don has represented. Beauty is skin deep, but it is higher quality to take care of yourself, stay in shape, and present yourself well than it is to let yourself go. Hitting a home run doesn't make you a better person, but the drive to succeed and overcome adversity is very important. Having a fancy title, high income, or flashy car doesn't make up for an empty soul, but hard work, attention to detail, and ambition are important qualities as well.

Life is about balance, and it seems to me that just as an excessive fixation on these qualities can be detrimental, so too can be their dismissal. These days I think this happens too often.

It hurt me to hear what Don has done minimized, because in many ways this really IS Don. This is what makes him who he is. This is what drives him. This is what steers his decisions. This is how he shows his love to the world and celebrate his life. This is his gift. It is almost like Don spent his entire life hand crafting a birthday present only to be told "I would've preferred jewelry".

And again, I really admire Don for demonstrating them, and his accomplishments show his character the same way that being in good shape shows that someone takes care of their body. These accomplishments don't make him important, but those accomplishments were very important in and of themselves.

Of course that isn't everything. The qualities you brought up are equally critical. That, in fact, is what separates the materialist from the rounded individual who happens to enjoy worldly success as well.

In Don's case I picture him more as this rounded person than the materialist. Oh, it's not black and white, I'm sure he's out of balance in some ways. But one does not spend long hours on a forum reflecting on their interpersonal behavior if these things aren't important to them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if those things don't matter to you, all that means is they don't matter to you. It doesn't mean they don't matter. They matter to Don, and they matter to me.

And again, nothing is black and white. The reason I believe these posts aren't opposing each other is I'd guess you can appreciate the qualities I've spoken of, and were simply trying to explain to Don the qualities that you value and how those things were absent in his self description as an FYI.

It's like different love languages. Don's love language is to move mountains and shape the world around him like a painter would paint a picture. It's a good reminder that there are other love languages that people might want to hear, and what's most important to him might not be all anyone else wants or needs. And Don should spend some time thinking about that, being aware that to most women these are going to be key to making them feel safe and connected. I also think that whoever is in Don's future needs to be able to recognize and value the virtues to which he has dedicated himself.