Newbie, need help with WAW!

[180Man]

So what if she does? Why are you afraid she would think you were getting closure? Are you afraid it would speed up the D?

Yeah, pretty much this.

It is not uncommon for newcomers to have the same thought pattern you are experiencing. They fear if the WW should think he is having thoughts of ending the M, that it is a guarantee for putting a rush on the divorce. So, they keep pulling on that rope they have tied around her, trying to convince her they can save the M. Pulling tighter causes her to pull the other way, and you essentially have a tug of war. However, if you drop the rope, it ends the tug of war.

I sincerely want to drop the rope. I have taken a lot of good steps toward this, not begging, not calling, not talking to her family...essentially a lot of your rules (tremendous post btw, thank you for that!).

You will not change her mind by showing her how much you want to stay M to her. In fact, it would be better if she really wasn't completely certain of your feelings about her. Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve for her to see, and replace it with a poker face. The H who stops thinking so much about every little word his WW utters, and starts focusing on himself, will begin showing his male confidence and independence.

This is the very difficult part for me. In a short duration visit, I know I could easily withhold my feelings. However, I have always been very open with her about my feelings and she can read me quite well, if we have a longer sit down I suspect I would have a terrible difficulty in maintaining that poker face. Which is exactly why I am struggling with these ideas of validation and strength.