I'm concerned about your little girl. I hope you will consider counseling for her. Your WW won't put the needs of her children over her own warped sense of entitlement.

Unfortunately, I think your W has been spoiled for a long time, and I don't think it will be an easy task of turning things around. I believe it is possible.........I'm just not completely sure you have the toughness that's needed to deal with this type of person. Frankly, you have enabled her quite a bit. Now, she is so self-centered that she doesn't see the emotional destruction she's doing to her little girl.......and she is more concerned for her own comforts than being an attentive mother when she's needed in the middle of the night. If I remember correctly, she has been that way ever since having her second child.

I can understand how exhausting it can be when getting up at night. My H was good to pick up the slack when I would give out. However, the way you seem to have been assigned to the late shift to care for D5 while Miss Entitlement gets her beauty sleep just hits a nerve in my maternal instincts.

Here's what I have witnessed several times IRL, this type of spouse (who is similar to your WW) in their first marriage. You would recognize the first W/H, who tolerated it and tried to make the most of things by accommodation. Eventually, the first M would end, and a second marriage came. But the second W/H never tolerated the behavior seen in the first M. And you know what? They would have a great MR, b/c the cr@p behavior was not allowed from day one. It would be amazing to witness the transformation in the spouses from that first M.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!