I was reading back on some of your previous posts and I have listened to everything you and all the other vets have said, but honestly I still have not really put all of the advice of DBing into practice.
Some things you said in your previous posts stuck in my mind, you said......
"I can't keep beating myself up over it, but I can now, start to focus more on my own happiness, what I want, and really learn to take care of myself"
"Take care of the person that matters most. YOU!"
"Be kind to yourself"
I know for me FEAR is such a huge part of my decisions. I am not implying that any of what you are dealing with is fear. I also wonder if I would ever be able to totally forgive my H for the A.
You have come such a long way and have gone through some much and have been fortunate enough to come out on the other side. I would never be able to give any kind of advice to you. But I do like what someone said earlier about you having a choice to make, either stay in the M and find happiness, or end the marriage and find happiness elsewhere. Neither is an easy choice and definitely not one to be taken lightly.
