Oh Cheesy, I am so sorry. This is terribly painful. Of course you are angry! She is being incredibly hurtful and selfish. Hold on to your heart right now and up the ante on self care.

I think you are doing the right thing by keeping communication short and cordial. She doesn't deserve to see your vulnerabilities and pain--save that for your safe poeple and keep venting here. Also, if a legal battle is starting, don't give her any stones to throw at you. Keep documenting, as you are, to protect yourself.

I want to leave you with something new to think about. You talk a lot about how much you love her and miss her. Can you truly love someone that can treat you this way? Do you not deserve better? If not, then ask yourself why? Only YOU can asnwe these questions, not us. Even if this isn't who you married, this unfortunately IS who she is right now. So allow your hurt and anger to facilitate detachment. This process starts when you can say to yourself, "I am important, worthy of love and respect, and I deserve that from a partner."

So what do you do now? You treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated. It is that simple. You GAL, 180, and DB your heart out. not for her--put her on the back shelf right now--but because Cheesy needs to find herself again. Over time, you will become the new and improved Cheesy that you would not have become if you stayed in this M. This is the silver lining for us all.

It has been years past for me, and no I didn't D, but I finally feel this happening. It's so liberating and incredible to realize that you only need yourself.

Hugs!
Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela