On the long and lonely road - trying to own it

[KevinIn]

I said I felt this was his problem because he made a choice to change his lifestyle, a choice I had no part in but was suffering for, and that I and his son shouldn't have to skimp on stuff because this was a mess of his making, not mine.

I really, really like your answer. Good on ya!

I like this answer too, and as i'm planning out a conversation i'll have in the next week i'm conflicted if I should use it. I'm going to get my DB Coach's input. But, i do like this!

He said, no, you have a part in this too. I saw red here. I said I would always accept my part in the deterioration of our marriage, but I didn't walk, and I didn't cheat, so the end of the marriage has nothing to do with me that way. He said, "Great, and now you're getting mad with me which is what I didn't want."

Nothing wrong with that. You said things he didn't want to hear. Whats wrong with that? You are doing great!

Same thing - i like this answer, but am conflicted if it would push my wife away more or if it would be a 180 or some other DB technique.

Bottom line - 2016sux rocked those responses. way to go. I want to figure out if it would be a good approach in my situation.