"If we repay wrongs with kindness we put an end to revenge. If we repay wrongs with wrongs, revenge never ends"
to your wife, and just embodying it. From what you say, it sounds like you were trying to convince HER to change. That doesnt sound very validating to me.
In my opinion, your goal should be to BE the change. You arent going to convince her to do anything with your words. It's your actions.
So you show up. You act confidently. You engage in listening. You validate her feelings (not AGREE with them. VALIDATE them). That is anything but 'softie'.\
You say this:
Quote:
And this is where I come to the problem of giving her space. Yes, I do believe she needs time and space. She hasn't seen me in a month. We have had limited communication in that time. But she has asked if I'm willing to sit down with her and talk, I think refusing to go would be a mistake.
Im not seeing your 'problem'. She asked for time, but you want to impose YOUR limit on what 'time' means. I think THATS your problem.
Through all of what you write, I notice a large focus on her. Im not seeing where you are regrowing into the 'man she fell in love with'. How can you focus more on THAT?
