Then tonight I had a DB session, explained to her that I wanted to take a different approach because I feel I have been very understanding and tried to validate and take ownership in counseling...and it got me here where she's asking for a divorce.
Im having some trouble reconciling what you are trying to say/do. You say theres two different approaches, but, to me, they arent really mutually exclusive.
I think YES you should be validating and empathetic. This does not mean you have to agree with everything she says. This does not mean you need to solve her problems. This means you should listen to her, understand her, accept that her feelings are valid, and communicate that.
I also think that YES, you should be strong and confident. You dont need to be the man she fell in love with, you should be better than that. Youre armed with so much more knowledge now!
