Help - Setting Boundaries, WW in EA - Thread #3

[Woke_Up]

Journaling, as this is the only place where my thoughts are private and safe:

Train was late due to storm so missed my Krav training session, went home. W had bathed D5 and she was in W's bed ready for story. W left the room, I did the stories and her school reading with her, got her settled down to sleep. Interaction with W was minimal, but no unpleasantness.

Went out and picked up SS16, took him to his grandma's to stay as he has his job on Fridays.

Got home, W in utility room smoking a joint. She looks in through window and smiles at me, but I think she was just checking I wasn't snooping at her phone which was charging. She talked a little bit about the storm, and D5 being stroppy with her. My personal thoughts are that D5 is picking up bad lessons from W's and my interactions. Sad.

She went upstairs, then asked me to move D5 from her bed into D's room. I did. I almost snooped at her phone but stopped myself 2 digits into the pass code. Minor victory.

I tidied up downstairs, then went to W's room to get my new gumshield which D5 had opened and been playing with. Said thanks and good night. W said good night, reasonably pleasantly. I'm just working on keeping the interactions pleasant and detached - friendly house guest.

I still feel the fear of not knowing how she is going to be when I am around, when things will suddenly escalate out of nowhere. If the kids weren't around, I feel I would be able to cope with this much more positively, but then again, maybe I would also lose my patience more often?

4 goals -

1. Clear the debts. still have some credit cards left from last house when we built an extension. Low interest, but still hanging around.
2. Be more financially astute - religiously save the tax money and then some.
3. complete my online training within 4 weeks, and get new qualification within 8.
4. Obtain new contract closer to home - 6 months.

Still struggling to find time to GAL, think I may book myself on a horse riding lesson with D5 in the next couple of weeks.