So Confused and Conflicted (3)

[Bdog37]

Sir, since you decided to try to call me out and call me a pessimist, then don't be upset at what I'm about to say.

I'm quite the opposite - but I am a realist. And you, sir, seem to only accept one answer and that is exactly what you want to hear. We've all been there. But you just want sunshine and roses pumped, much less anything else. Maybe crayons and safety pins are in order. I call it like it is...I don't pump sunshine.

I truly hope she does return. But what happens if she doesnt?

It is very hard to come to the realization that your M is over. Many of us don't ever want to believe it, but you are right...you have to be a realist at some point. I still have my down days and miss my W and who she was. So many things can trigger a great memory we shared and the flood gates of emotions come poring in all over again. At first, I also didn't want to face the fact that my M was over and that no amount of DB'ing would bring her back. It wasn't until I realized that it wasn't about bringing her back, but more about bettering myself, did I truly let go. It hurts, its sad, but there are many stories of people who find themselves back together even after the BD. There are stories of people who go on, get M to others, and yet still find themselves getting back together. Who knows, maybe someday you and your W will get back together. Maybe my W and I will someday get back together. We don't know what the future holds, but you do need someone to help prepare you for the worst possible situation. That way you will have the strength to get through it.

I also hope that WshIKnw's W returns and they find happiness in a new MR! I believe in M and would have never turn my back on my W, but unfortunately it was not my choice. I would say for him to never give up hope, but to stop using DB to help save his M and use it to help save himself.