Needing Some Guidance 2

[KCRoo]

I would not really be surprised if she bailed. I was talking with my sister about how it went, and I really believe that she wants to do a couple of sessions, and say, see it is not working, we tried, I want out.

I was reading through some other posts today, and I cam across a thread from 2015. I think the persons name was Eye something. He was only posting for 10 months, and ended up becoming a WAH, moved on and started dating a woman named "J". In the end he realized that he had been unhappy the whole time. I see a lot of myself in his 2 threads.

I have realized that I have walked on egg shells around my wife trying to avoid fights because of her easy to anger personality. She has always said that she was a people pleaser, but she never really did anything special for me. So she would try to please everyone else, but me. I mean she yells at our dogs when they are excited to see her (since she is hardly there anymore), and they get in her space.

I am not avoiding your question on om2, sandi2, I just don't remember. Everything has become a blur.

So personal goals:
do cardio 5x week (which I am doing)

lift weights 2x week (which I just started doing)

do something nice for myself 1x week (this could be going out to dinner, or for example tonight I am going to buy a new suit a Macy's big sale, all my old suits are really big)

Try new things that interest me (I have signed up for a cooking class, and if I enjoy it, I will do more of them).

I am thinking about signing up for "hot yoga", but I still have not decided on that one yet. That is a little out there for me.

So I guess with those last two, really focusing on GAL.

A big personal goal is to stop spying. I have 10 days sober on that.

Another personal goal is to command respect.


So then as far as my next boundary, she always says when she goes out that if she doesn't text or call me, that I should text her. I haven't done this, because my thoughts are she is the one that needs to prove something to me. But if it happens again, I plan to tell her it is disrespectful, and to protect myself I she should plan to stay away from the house for the rest of the next day.

If we are having any kind of talk above idle chit chat (which I have not initiated) and she is on her phone, tablet, or computer, I will walk away and not talk to her while she is on an electronic device.

My IC thinks I need to give her ultimatum, which I don't agree with at this junction, but my patients is wearing thin.