Help - Setting Boundaries, WW in EA - Thread #3

[Woke_Up]

Doodler

I have basically had a telephone consultation with a L, but mostly focussing on what would be the usual terms of a separation when not married. WW found my notes and has used this to fuel her spew, saying I am only interested in money and getting 50% of the assets.

When it comes to custody I would want joint custody, however am not in a position to offer 50/50 in terms of having the kids - not yet. WW doesn't work, I am out for 13-14 hours a day. I want to change this, hence studying for a new qualification. The other option is to go back to a regular job rather than being self employed, but that would mean that we couldn't afford the current house we live in.

It's something I could contemplate after S if that happens, and if we sell the house. WW keeps saying she wants the house. I just want to be able to afford somewhere that I can have the kids stay with me that's comfortable, although I will be sad to wave goodbye to the 2 acres we have.

I need to see L again. L did recommend that if it comes to it, agree separate spaces in the house and put locks on doors, etc, rather than have spew and rage and bad atmosphere.

I know it's against DB, but I wonder if giving her back the MBR and taking my own space in the house will help matters. She is fixated on her back and pelvis trouble and that I stole 'her' bed. Or is that being a doormat? As someone said, should I eat sh!t for the sake of D5?

I am nowhere near being detached. I am still harbouring the mindset that if only she would dump OM, we could weather the storm of her withdrawals and work on things.

I know this is wrong.

I know our R is over. But my feelings do not say this. My feelings say keep trying, and are preventing me from letting go.