It has really helped out that I told my youngest sister. She really cares, and if I don't call her after work, she is calling me. She listens to all things I have to say, and she doesn't let me play the victim, and constantly reassures me that this isn't my fault.
In our mc session, ww said she started emotionally disconnecting from me in June, when it became apparent we were having issues getting pregnant. I asked why she didn't come to me, and she said not being a woman I wouldn't understand. So she started talking to her cousin about it.
Although this is pure speculation, I think the thing that broke her back is she wanted me to get fertility tested in October, and I did it November 4 (first I had to go to a urologist, and then they had to order the test). The test came back that I was fertile. So she automatically assumed it was her. She didn't try to change her doctors appointment, which is March 28. One thing she has told me her IC says is that she doesn't face her fears. This is evident in not moving up her doctors appointment, or even trying.
I have reassured her throughout the two years we were trying, that if we couldn't get pregnant through sex, we could do fertility treatments. And if we couldn't get pregnant at all, we could adopt, and I would be happy.
Of course now were coming up on two months no sex, and the weird thing is she still changes, and showers in front of me. Of course I am "glad" were not having sex (as glad as you can be) because if she got pregnant now, it would only be bad. A baby would not solve our problems, and would just cost me child support.
This was mostly a vent/rant, I was really thinking about this today.
Me:33, WW:30 BD:12/14/16, EA no children Still together
