I think you have to take some time to figure out how you really feel here. You've said there's no going back for you. Does that also mean that there's no moving forward in a new relationship with Exw? Our old marriages are dead, so they say. How much of a sounding board do you want to be?
I'm reading a lot of what she's doing and saying. You aren't really talking about what this is stirring up for you personally. Maybe that's a choice. If so, sorry if I'm overstepping.
In the end I think the best you can do is cause no harm. Don't allow yourself to be manipulated. Continue to stay strong and be kind. It isn't your job to fix anything for her. She's gotta put on her big girl pants and fix it herself, as others have said.
Feeling like I'm not much help here ... I have no personal experience to draw on to share. I think Cali would be my lighthouse, were I in your shoes.
{{{{{hugs}}}}}
xoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
