Her MLC: The Battle I Didn't Choose

[Brubeck]

The job hunt is starting to get some replies. I have 2 more interviews lined up next week and a couple of people have offered to pass my resume on to some friends. I've asked old colleagues to write recommendations on LinkedIn, and every one of them have said yes so far. It's discouraging, I've sent my resume to over 30 companies. I try to stay positive and remind myself that I am largely looking for work outside my industry - so I'm gonna knock on many doors that won't open.

The upside to being unemployed for the past 6 weeks is I have spent so much time with S3 that I have made leaps & bounds in his vocabulary. He can say so many words now and not just in response, but he also begins conversations too. He's singing as well and taking small steps with toilet training. I didn't notice his improvement until after a month of being at home. He was evaluated and approved for speech therapy last summer, but the only available school wasn't within walking distance, so W never bothered enrolling him.

I don't know if his vocabulary had also been stalled because I learned from being at home during the day that W barely speaks with the boys. Her daytime schedule is exactly the same as her night time schedule - in bed & on the phone.

I found out that S8 has had behavior problems at school - he's being targeted by bullies. He was moved to a different table and doing better at first, until he started getting cranky with nearby classmates for not completing "group work" on time. His teacher notified us about the 2nd problem through a school app, which is how I learned about it, but the initial problem was reported directly to W, who never told me.

I reached out to S8's teacher directly via email, and received a very enthusiastic response. We agreed that we saw similarities in S8 having no academic issues but just difficulty in transitioning to new activities. She was very happy to hear me ask what we could do at home to improve his behavior.

There's also problems with one of the kids who come over. MLC Friend #1 has a 10 year old boy who is kind of uptight and introverted and doesn't socialize well and is put off by my S8. When this kid feels bothered, my W sides with this kid and lectures S8 about leaving him alone. I don't know why she would side against S8 in view of her guests, maybe it's just easier for her.

Again, this has been going on for months, but I just learned about it. She's so damn NC that she won't even discuss the kids with me anymore. Her only discussions with me are logistics, making sure I'm home to watch the kids for whenever she goes out, and sometimes even that doesn't happen. She just says "I'm going out with MLC Friend #1" on her way out the front door.

I want to say something to her, but observing things around the house, I know her memory skills are f%*ked up. MLC Friend #1 gave us a gigantic goose last month. W put it in the freezer, where it took up more than half the space. After 3 weeks in there, I threw it out. She never asked about it. When our tax forms came in, she angrily demanded my W2 forms so she could file taxes for the year. That was a month ago, they're still sitting on the bookshelf.

I see forgetfulness left and right in her, except when she walks into the same room as me! No matter how happy she is with her phone conversation, she always puts on a kill-you face when I get within eyeshot.

I'm going with S8 on a field trip tomorrow to a forest preserve. I'm looking forward to getting away to nature for a bit.

Belated discovery: U2's Songs of Innocence. A little weird by their standards, but we all gotta grow.