Maybell 40

[DonH]

This puts a whole different light on it - at least for me. Cut yourself some slack Maybell. It sounds like you are doing an amazing job under a huge weight. That really is a full weight of things. The fact that you realize, see and even more importantly admit, that your reaction had much more to do with all that's going on than anything else is HUGE. So many women, at least one's I've known, would not admit that if they even did see it. It all makes total sense - even him leaving, not in a slamming the door behind him way but in a it's likely the smartest move right now way makes way more sense.

Let me throw one more thing out here - have you asked him for help? If not, why not? I'd think at the point you are at in your R he may expect and even enjoy that. If I were your BF at this point I'd likely be saying "how can I help you" and then trying to do that - whatever it is (within reason). It almost seems like that would go a really long way for you at this point - whatever it is. Hell I don't know, that's why I'd ask rather than try to figure it out on my own.

So, I guess I'm even more with the others - take time for you, do something you need. That's not being selfish at all. In order for you to take care of the kids and the rest of your life, you have to take care of you. Most of all, cut yourself some slack. You've earned all of that!