Shes doing whatever makes herself happy, and doesnt care who gets hurt along the way including me and the kids. She "justs wants to be happy and this is what i want to do to make myself happy." On the other hand, im willing to move mountains to make her happy, but she doesnt mthink it will matter - we just arent meant to be anymore.
I'm sorry. I've heard all of the same. I'm at a loss for advice as I'm just in the same boat.
Re 10 commandments, don't forget the one about not coveting your neighbor's wife/husband...
But in my W's fog...she doesn't believe in silly things like the 10 commandments...she thinks that following your heart is following God...and everyone will be happier...barf!
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
But in my W's fog...she doesn't believe in silly things like the 10 commandments...she thinks that following your heart is following God...and everyone will be happier...barf!
My wife isn't really religious and is struggling with her own view's on God, so none of that resonates with her.
Originally Posted By: Gordie
BI'm sorry. I've heard all of the same. I'm at a loss for advice as I'm just in the same boat.
Sandi is right that the best thing for both of us is to "Let her go." Easier said than done however.
M:39 W:36 - D1:2 D2:6 11/19/16 BD1: ILYBNILWY, EA/PA Dec/Jan: MC, pursuing, not DBing 1/11/17 BD2: W wants 1 month break 2/1/17: Divorce Remedy. Start DBing 2/17/17 BD3: W - separation to start D process
Sandi is right that the best thing for both of us is to "Let her go." Easier said than done however
When you figure that one out, let me know.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Ever since my meeting with the L, i've been in a pretty sh!tty mood. I think it added to the reality that my W is most likely never coming back, regardless of how perfectly I use the DB techniques.
I did workout and then go out with a friend right after the meeting and celebrated National Margarita Day, so i was okay for a few hours after the meeting. But the next day and today have both been hard.
I can't seem to snap out of this funk i've been in for 2 days.
I know the answer is to completely detach, but its hard.
M:39 W:36 - D1:2 D2:6 11/19/16 BD1: ILYBNILWY, EA/PA Dec/Jan: MC, pursuing, not DBing 1/11/17 BD2: W wants 1 month break 2/1/17: Divorce Remedy. Start DBing 2/17/17 BD3: W - separation to start D process
This is the hardest part of it...actually going through with it. I remember that walk out to car before that first meeting with the lawyer...longest walk of my life. Now, for you, its a business meeting - at least try to think of it that way.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
My wife wants to go to mediation to create a Separation Agreement. What suggestions/advice does everyone have?
Background: She's a WAW who is having an affair and wants out of the marriage. We have 2 kids. For the first two months after BD #1, I pursued and did everything except DB techniques. For the past month, i've been DBing very well.
My goal: Protect my future (i.e. money) and get what i want (i.e. time with kids), while not making things worse. I want to find DB opportunities in the mediation session to make her question her decision if only a tiny little bit.
What are your suggestions and experiences from mediation used to develop a formal separation agreement?
M:39 W:36 - D1:2 D2:6 11/19/16 BD1: ILYBNILWY, EA/PA Dec/Jan: MC, pursuing, not DBing 1/11/17 BD2: W wants 1 month break 2/1/17: Divorce Remedy. Start DBing 2/17/17 BD3: W - separation to start D process
If you go to mediation you have to first have a conversation I what you are both looking for in the Sep agreement. If you can agree on the main issues like custody and assets, then mediation is the way to go because it will save you money. If you can't agree on the major issues in advance a lawyer is probably the way to go.
We did mediation because my ex didn't want to go to court...because she didn't want things to come out. In my state, there is no separation agreement so I can't help you there.
You'll settle custody, finances, etc. The goal is to find a truly impartial mediator, but that rarely happens in real life. You will need your lawyer, as he/she will work in your best interest and protection.
One thing I've learned is to not bend to her wishes on the hopes of the thought that somehow appeasing her will make her change her mind. This is nothing but business, I'm afraid.
I can't help on the SA. But I can on mediation and will talk anytime.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
