see her how will she she that i have become the man she wants to choose
No. This isn't a competition. She shouldn't have to choose you.
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Also, should I be dating? I have opportunities to do so now. If so, should I tell her or "let her find out"?
Not while you are still married - in no way should you do that. No way.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.