Originally Posted By: sellout
how do I show her that I refuse to compete with him but not give the impression that I am giving up? Seems like a catch 22 right?

What do you mean by 'giving up'? What exactly is there right now to 'give up'? What it sounds like you mean is how can I continue to pursue her while not pursuing her?

My advice is to give up. Let her have whatever this is with OM. The more you fight it, the more it will galvanize them anyway. Take your focus off of her and work on becoming the best you that you can be. How can you be an awesome dad? How can you be more empathetic? a better listener? a better friend? a better validator? more patient? more tolerant? etc etc

If she does decide to entertain actually reconciling with you, then you can decide what you want.

Originally Posted By: sellout
With that said, if I cut all ties (give up) then there is ZERO chance it will work. Am I right?

Thats your fear talking. You believe if you let her have freedom of choice that she wont choose you. You will always have some level of connection through your child. If she wants to talk to you, she knows where to find you.