Originally Posted By: sellout
Agreed, but at the end of the day, where did that get me?

Have you read any of Sandi's threads on LBS with a WW?

Your W is in a relationship with another man. You cannot compete with him and the more that you try, the more you will convince her that he is the "best choice". It isnt about 'ego', it IS about doing what works the best long term. And the best chance that you have 'long term' to make this marriage work is to earn her respect. How can you earn respect by competing for her with this other man?

Originally Posted By: sellout
This is where I left it..."I will respect your wishes of giving you space, but let me know if you decide to change your mind about tonight".

So, now Im confused. You are leaving it to her to decide if she wants to go tonight? I thought you made it clear you werent going to while she is seeing another man. You JUST said she slept at his house last night. I think, from her actions, it's clear that she isnt going to drop him TODAY. So what confusion is there about going tonight?

In my opinion, it's a lot more effective to give her space than to tell her youre going to give her space.