Pick a night this week or over the weekend. When your WH is out, get dressed to the 9's. Hair, makeup, clothes...all of it. As soon as WH comes home, tell him that you are going out. Tell him that the kids have had dinner and that you will be home later. If he asked where you are going or who you are going with, tell him you are going "out" with "friends". THAT'S IT. If he asks when you will be home, say "later". If he continues to press you on it, tell him nothing, just leave. You can go wherever you want. Go to a bar. Meet up with an actual friend. Go to Target. Drive around and listen to music. WHATEVER. Just go out. Don't stay out too late, but make sure it is about 3 hours.
Just try this once and see what happens. Change things. Do something different and see how he reacts. I would normally not recommend this to some LBS, but it seems that you have nothing to lose at this point.
Is this assuming she wants to save the marriage?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
