2017 - New year - same MLC but I'm moving along

[Irish M]

Sorry for the long post.

the last sentence is what bothers me.

the first way i took it was as a threat.

but then i re-read it. perhaps she meant that she's sorry you have to be both parents due to her choices.

then there are the ...

deliberate ambiguity so you have to fill in the dots?

Hi bttrfly. I will try to post more updates. A small break did me some good as well. focused on D14

I agree the last line was a threat. The old W would say things like that to try to get my attention. Those rose colored glasses are long gone so I don't fold as easy.

As for your xw, yes, she's poking her head out once again and is trying a different tactic to get info. Sometimes they are nice and other times nasty. It will be interesting to see if she holds steady and starts doing what she needs to do to reconnect w/her family. Time will tell.
You are wise to not respond to this last message. Leave her to stew and think a while. She'll be texting again very soon.

Hi Job
Every 2 months she pops her head out and similar messages are sent to me. First the sad her, then the blaming me and finally the monster. I expect a few days of messaging. I will chose wisely when and if I respond.

The mention of the M not having been fake indicates her thinking is beyond just her daughters. Maybe she regrets her decisions and actions. It a a good step.

If I had discarded my family I would be wary about reaching put. It is a huge step. You cannot take it for her. Leave her decide her next move. She will get back to you. Not replying was probably your best response.

Hi Roist
Yes I understand she did include the marriage in her message which was nice. I won`t take it for more than that, a comment.

I believe as well that is will be hard for her to come out and really try. Even before BD and MLC, she was never the one to talk about an issue. If we did have an argument it was always me who stepped up and broke the ice. Skills that if she had she would of probably avoided this all together.

Your reply to your XW is inspiring to this newbie.

Hi Gordie. sorry you are here my friend. Stay strong and stay consistent. its so important not to let them pull you in. I failed a few times. I think .. no I am sure my feet are secure and I wont slide anymore.

Irish... nice to see an update and you handled this text book, if she wants to repair that bridge it is solely in her camp. May be the first part of her wanting to reconnect ... or may simply be a touch and go ... like job said ... "time will tell"

Agree with you Cali. Her mountain to climb. i won;t even hint at what she should do. A heart felt letter, a hello card, flowers, or whatever. not me to do. It needs to be from her and it needs to be genuine.

Here we go. emails from MLC land

Got home and had 4 very long emails.

Email 1

Hi Irish, I really want you to help me with the girls. You being a great dad you should understand that. I am sorry for what i did . What more do you want?
If i could go back in time I would not let the girls know what i did. Protect them from it and I would still be their mother.
Do you enjoy this. The girls are welcome to my happy home. i am so good now. i stopped drinking and don't smoke drugs. I work out and have started yoga. I have good friends that I go out with and i have been stable with the same boyfriend for over a year. I'm not a s**t.

my response is none. Same old no real apology, no ownership of what she did. Her saying how great she is and happy. Oh well.


Email 2

I reached out to the girls many times. 7 emails in all.
Ok i missed 2 birthdays each and Xmas. my bad.
Ok i bad mouthed you. My bad
Ok I played your moms emotions to get to the girls. my bad
I asked a mother of one of D16 to ask him to talk to her about me. My Bad

my response . No comment. At least she acknowledges her bad :-)

Email 3

I don't know what to do. Help me. Tell me.

I replied. i can't tell you. you must find your own solution. I don't want to tell you what to do that would be controlling , right?

Email 4

I know that the girls don't want anything to do with my family. They never liked my mom, my sister or my father. They were never close. It must not bother them that they are not in their lives.
If I died they probably wouldn't even go to my funeral.

You will never accept my apologies. you want to stay angry at me. You are afraid of letting me in.

I know what I did. I could probably say I'm sorry over and over and you will never accept it. You want control over me. You like to be mad at me because it hurts less.

I'm happy you take good care of the girls... Take care of yourself too.
Have a good day


This one I replied to. I just said. You believe what you want to. The girls did have a good relationship with your family. Sure it wasn't as close as it was with my side but there were many reasons why . They didn't hate them. Your family chose to not contact the girls. They are the adults. This is the reason why we don't talk. You keep throwing crap at me.

Have a good day as well. Take care


email 1-3 I shortened. the 4th email was word for word.

She is really spinning here.