At this point, I would rather have had an empty life than to cause all this on my kids. Nothingness would have been better than all this pain.
FG, I get what you're saying about never meeting your W and the pain this brings to the kids. I've found myself wondering similar, but then I take a look at my D and realize how lucky I am to have her in my life.
You are so well equipped to be that rock for your kids. Moreso than myself and I also believe alot of the folks around here. I think as time progresses, your feelings around the above will change. You'll see how your actions and thoughts help stabilize things for the kids. You'll be good and I know that they will too. You're a hell of a father fighting a hell of a battle and you are excelling at it. Hang in there brother.
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
