The affair she had the end of last summer was with a co-worker.
You claim she ended it, but does she/did she continue to work with the guy?
Did she continue to travel with the guy?
I breezed through the large story but I found it odd that your wife chose to remain in the hotel and chose to travel and be separate from you so much. Desiring "space" is often a technique used by a wayward spouse to keep BOTH their affair and their marriage going while they continue to put off actually deciding which relationship they want.
Do you know who the OM is/was and is he married?
If he's married, his wife should know the truth about her life and, without any repercussions, there's no reason for him to stop pursuing relations with your wife.
Another clue ---- your wife claims not to be in love with you or attracted to you. So often that means she IS in love and attracted to someone else. There needs to be a point of comparison before a woman says: "I don't love you".
Finally, she may well have ended the affair but the first rule of recovery is "no contact for life" and if she still works with the guy or sees him around the office EVER you never had a chance.
Sorry if I missed a detail above. It was a lot to read and maybe OM lives in another city and they haven't spoken or seen each other since last summer. However, anything more than that makes recovery impossible.
Because you are both Christians, you should be talking to and getting support from your Pastor too.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
