She is saying she wants to go to the program to see if there is any hope in the marriage and then she will give up the man
Let me get this straight - she says that she will give up the OM IF and only IF the marriage works? Mmmm, no.
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Then, after the program is over tomorrow night, in my mind the clock is ticking and perhaps I draw a hard line in the sand with an ultimatum and time frame. Id she refuses to stop seeing him, I can pretty much assume it is over and then continue on with the divorce proceeding in about 28 days. Does anyone think this is a good/bad plan? Thoughts?
Ultimatums don't work in our cases. What you can say is that as long as she's in with him, then there is no "us" and won't be. But, she has to drop him. I wouldn't hold my breath.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.